IL Rep. Milton Patterson
10. Still disturbed after learning of Oprah’s recent weight gain.
9. He can’t vote against a man with hair rivaling that of the great Dick Clark.
8. That assertiveness training he took last year is working a little “too well”.
7. A unanimous vote might look rigged.
6. Still owes Blago for the victory in the last election.
5. Didn’t want his constituents to think he just follows the crowd.
4. Madigan just never gets his jokes.
3. Because bad publicity is better than no publicity!
2. Was secretly hoping that he might get the call in case Burris chickens out.
1. Because dammit-peaches aren’t in season!
